Career & Money Lifestyle

The Starting Line

Nine years ago, I started a blog. That blog was more than an online journal. It was my confidante who I shared all of my innermost thoughts to. It was my virtual psychotherapist that kept me sane when I was on the edge of madness. It was, in a way, an extension of myself. I kept that blog alive for a good seven years.

Until one day, I decided I would delete it.

My reason? I just felt that it no longer painted a picture of me as I am now. In fact, as I read through some of the posts I wrote, I cringed as my words that seemed so amusing/artistic/wise/philosophical at that time now seem so unbelievably preposterous to me. It felt like I was reading the works of another person other than myself, and I did not know that person at all. I shook my head as I muttered to myself, โ€œI canโ€™t believe I wrote that!โ€

I am not judging that person, however. She was young. Confused. Naรฏve. Lost. A lot of her journal entries were bursting with glee, warmth, hope, and a zest for life. But in contrast, it was evident in some of her writings that she had her fair share of pain. I gave that girl a big hug. I told her โ€œItโ€™s okay. One day, you will grow up and things will get better.โ€

โ€œHow?โ€ she asked.

โ€œBecause YOU will BE better,โ€ I assured her.

Fast forward to a few years laterโ€ฆ

I found myself revisitingย myย her old blog. Once again, I blenched at the words in front of me and I said, โ€œYou really have to go.โ€ Those written words were no longer my words. That person was no longer me.

โ€œOkay, but at least keep the good parts of me,โ€ she implored.

I had to admit, she did write a number of beautiful pieces. I say โ€œbeautifulโ€ because they made people laugh, think, smile, and most importantly, felt understood. Her sense of humor entertained others and drew many to her. Visitors would say things like, โ€œI needed to read this today. This is just what I needed. Thank you.โ€ She used writing as her tool to enlighten, inspire, and brighten othersโ€™ day.

โ€œFine,โ€ I conceded. I decided that I would only keep the good parts. Just the posts that would give rise to nothing but positive feelings.

Unfortunately, something dreadful happened. I donโ€™t know how or why, but one day, as I was in the process of reconstructing my old online journal, my heart stopped as I looked at the screen in front of me and discovered that, to my dismay, the blog posts were gone! Deleted. Irretrievable. Every single one of them.

I wept silently as I forced myself to accept the fact that it was, no question, purged forever. Seven years of memories, extinguished. It was sad, because, though a chunk of that blog does not mirror who I am anymore, I did want to keep the connections I made through it and preserve the stories I would be happy and/or proud to retell.

Well, that blog is just a ghost now, and that girl just left without even saying goodbye. It all seems kind of symbolic to me. After I got over the initial shock and disbelief, I realized that maybe it happened for a reason. In a way, I guess it worked to my advantage. Instead of finecombing years and yearsโ€™ worth of anecdotes, plucking out the ones that I wanted to keep and the ones that had to be discarded, the blog took care of itself and saved me some precious time. The situation has given me a shot to start with a clean slate.

But is it too late to start all over again? If I create an entirely new portal of thoughts now, will I still have anything to say and something to share? Will my tales be as exciting as the ones I used to write about? Do I really have the time to update it constantly? How can this new effort measure up to something that lived and breathed for seven long years?

The answer is, I donโ€™t know. But what I do know is that life begins whenever you want it to begin. Maybe my life is really just about to start, or that it just started recently. Not that I hadnโ€™t been living before, but maybe, as I age, gain more experience, or meet new people, some of my most exciting tales are just about to happen. Or, perhaps my tales will be threadbare but what I take from them will be monumental. In that case, there will always,ย alwaysย be something to write about.

So now, I am writing again, something that I never should have stopped doing anyway. Now is a good time to rebuild a new nook of adventures, memories, and lessons. Now is the best time to make a fresh start. When else?

update-your-blog
Photo credit: http://croud.com

 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

You may also like...

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge